Sad Little Man

Poor little Jeremy is sick again. His daycare provider had bronchitis, which she had caught from one of the other little boys, and our little man immediately fell in line. Tuesday night he came down with all the symptoms. The fever, the sluggishness, the fitful sleep, the unproductive cough, the sore throat. And the wheezing and the labored breathing.

We keep reminding ourselves that with every bug he gets, his antibodies will grow stronger and protect himself longer throughout his life. That is the positive spin.

What concerns us is that he may have a chronic, uncurable condition. The one that begins with the scarlet letter. Asthma.

His primary pediatrician is "watching" him for this, but correctly hasn't officially diagnosed him because, to do that, he has to be old enough to voluntarily blow into a peak flow meter. Also, she is cognizant of the adverse consequences of such a diagnosis, like problems with insurance coverage, and the inability of some medical providers to see beyond the diagnosis. Now that asthma is so prevalent among people and especially children here in the Central Valley, maybe the stigma won't be as acute when Jeremy's generation comes of age. But in the meantime, we do appreciate her caution.

At the same time, it has prevented us from being formally educated on asthma and the importance of creating an asthma management plan for Jeremy. I don't need an official diagnosis to know whether he has it. Not when he drapes his exhausted body on top of me at night for five hours, as still as can be, but with his respiration rate at about 60 shallow breaths per minute, his pulse so rapid I can't even count, his core emanating heat like a wood pellet stove, and his lungs crackling like autumn leaves.

As best as we can tell, Jeremy's asthma symptoms seem to be triggered by colds and flu bugs. Because he goes for stretches of time (even if just a couple of weeks or so) without any symptoms, his triggers are probably not animal allergies or household irritants. I suppose spring-time allergies are a consideration, though, now that the rains have finally stopped and the pollen is bursting forth.

He has a short-acting beta-agonist (Albuterol) which he is pretty good at inhaling through the spacer. And we use Tylenol and Motrin to regulate his fever. Luckily, his beverage of choice is water, and he is gulping plentiful amounts. But he is less interested in his milk, and hasn't eaten a full meal since Monday.

We feel so bad for him. It is not fair. All we can do right now for our gurgly little cappucino machine is to comfort him, hold him, and help him through the long, boring, frustrating days and nights, until this bug passes. And we will be learning more about asthma and all of the current wisdom on treating this condition, to help Jeremy manage it well through his life.

Seventeen Months

Jeremy is seventeen months. A toddler who only wants to run with the big kids, but still loves his pacifier (in private) and snuggling with his mommies at every chance.

Jeremy is loving the sun, now that it decided to show its face. He aches to go outside, even before he is dressed in the morning, and would spend every sunlit moment in the garden if he had his druthers. Today, we went to Silverado Landscaping to look at pavers and flagstone. Jeremy was thrilled to be among the rock and brick and, of course, the fountains. At one point, he plucked a smooth, freckled river rock out of a palette and hung onto it like a trophy, all the while fingering and fondling the quartzite, the cobbles and the slate. Truly, he was happier there, browsing among the palettes on the sunny dusty lot, than he has been at amusement parks like Fairytale Town.

Indeed, Jeremy prefers the real world to toys. I recently overheard half of a conversation among parents of Montesorri preschoolers, and they were referencing something called "practical life." I imagine those are the projects that would captivate Jeremy. If I had to name ten things that bring him the most joy right now, the list would include:

• Anything with bristles (bottle brushes, paint brushes, toothbrushes, brooms, hair brushes)
  The vacuum
• Anything related to water (faucets, fountains, bathtubs, hoses, sprinklers, puddles)
• Anything with four legs (especially cats & dogs)
• Flowers (how they smell and how they feel)
• Soft blankets
• Cuddling cheek to cheek with his mommies
• Music
• Playing with himself (sorry if that is too much information!)
• Being outdoors (at the park, on the grass, in the bushes, in the jog stroller)

Jeremy isn't using too many recognizable words yet, but it is impressive what he understands. I think he understands more than we give him credit for, AND more than he lets on! He also uses alot of words we don't understand. And every now then he'll shock us with some new English word completely in context. Today, he climbed up on my back, and yelled, "go!" He also has a regular repertoire of funny utterances (I don't know where he learned these), like:

• "Wow"
• "Uh-oh" usually when he drops things
• "Mmmm" after eating something yummy like ice cream
• "Aaaaaaa" after taking a satisfying gulp of cold water
• "Yeah" (even though he probably should say "yes," we are glad he hasn't yet learned "no")

He also walks up to the dogs, throws his arm down, and yells something that sounds like "stay!"

His favorite books at the moment are:

• Very Busy Spider
• The Lorax, by Dr. Suess
• Shades of Black
• Good Nite Gorilla
• Water Water Everywhere

He is still addicted to the Sound of Music, and has developed affection for Pingu.

Regarding food, his menu is as short as that at a prix fixe restaurant. Luckily, he doesn't tire of his daily quiche, chicken nuggets, yogurt, oat cereal squares and cheese. Every now and then he will swallow a pea or carrot slice if it is nicely seasoned, Chinese style. Or beans, Mexican style. Unless he is really tired, he prefers to self feed. He especially digs practicing his spoon skills with a dish of Dreyer's vanilla bean ice cream.

Jeremy enjoys his school days as much as his days with his mommies. On Saturdays, when his mommies take Frenchie and Rizzo to the doggie college at 4PawsU, Jeremy plays in the park and feeds the ducks, usually with his Auntie Trish. Regardless of where he is at, a good day in his view is when he gets really dirty. He counts on his mommies to keep his busy social calendar organized.