Sad Little Man

Poor little Jeremy is sick again. His daycare provider had bronchitis, which she had caught from one of the other little boys, and our little man immediately fell in line. Tuesday night he came down with all the symptoms. The fever, the sluggishness, the fitful sleep, the unproductive cough, the sore throat. And the wheezing and the labored breathing.

We keep reminding ourselves that with every bug he gets, his antibodies will grow stronger and protect himself longer throughout his life. That is the positive spin.

What concerns us is that he may have a chronic, uncurable condition. The one that begins with the scarlet letter. Asthma.

His primary pediatrician is "watching" him for this, but correctly hasn't officially diagnosed him because, to do that, he has to be old enough to voluntarily blow into a peak flow meter. Also, she is cognizant of the adverse consequences of such a diagnosis, like problems with insurance coverage, and the inability of some medical providers to see beyond the diagnosis. Now that asthma is so prevalent among people and especially children here in the Central Valley, maybe the stigma won't be as acute when Jeremy's generation comes of age. But in the meantime, we do appreciate her caution.

At the same time, it has prevented us from being formally educated on asthma and the importance of creating an asthma management plan for Jeremy. I don't need an official diagnosis to know whether he has it. Not when he drapes his exhausted body on top of me at night for five hours, as still as can be, but with his respiration rate at about 60 shallow breaths per minute, his pulse so rapid I can't even count, his core emanating heat like a wood pellet stove, and his lungs crackling like autumn leaves.

As best as we can tell, Jeremy's asthma symptoms seem to be triggered by colds and flu bugs. Because he goes for stretches of time (even if just a couple of weeks or so) without any symptoms, his triggers are probably not animal allergies or household irritants. I suppose spring-time allergies are a consideration, though, now that the rains have finally stopped and the pollen is bursting forth.

He has a short-acting beta-agonist (Albuterol) which he is pretty good at inhaling through the spacer. And we use Tylenol and Motrin to regulate his fever. Luckily, his beverage of choice is water, and he is gulping plentiful amounts. But he is less interested in his milk, and hasn't eaten a full meal since Monday.

We feel so bad for him. It is not fair. All we can do right now for our gurgly little cappucino machine is to comfort him, hold him, and help him through the long, boring, frustrating days and nights, until this bug passes. And we will be learning more about asthma and all of the current wisdom on treating this condition, to help Jeremy manage it well through his life.