Fierce Love

Can a mother's love get any stronger? Can two mothers' love get any stronger? This little boy is so special our heads and hearts almost explode. Daily.

It's so hard to articulate. But I'll try.

I find blogging is getting increasingly more difficult as Jeremy grows up. One reason is that, as he becomes more and more a conscious individual in his own right, I feel less and less permission to talk about him without his express permission. If that makes any sense. On a daily basis I witness the development of his own sense of self. Every time he yells "mine" or "me" or protests in order to assert his own agenda, I become more respectful of his own choices. And that includes his choice to publicize his life. How would I feel if someone else -- like my mother -- decided to blog about my temper tantrums or my potty habits? Hmmm?

Another reason is that, as Jeremy grows, and grows up, it is more and more challenging to document that trajectory. Okay, MamaHawk. Step up to it!

Lastly, and probably most importantly, the more Jeremy expresses the incredible person he is, the more I realize the need to talk about my role as a mother and the tortured dialogue that persists within me as I strive to be the best parent I can be to help Jeremy realize his highest potential. As much as this blog started out to be about him, I am finding that in the end it may be very much about me and my perspective and what I can do to enhance Jeremy's life.

Is that bad or wrong? Is that to be expected? Is it of any interest to you?